Best Love Pictures Definition
Source(Google.com.pk)
Since love has been the topic of
countless articles, books, discussions, and sleepless nights, I might as well
explain how I got interested. I have long been addicted to popular songs,
especially love songs. They play in my head, usually uninvited, and often at
odd hours. Some of them show up from out of a dim past, so I am frequently
searching for lyrics to fill gaps in my memory.
Several years ago in the course of
looking for a lyric, perhaps the one quoted above, I happened upon an
extraordinary website called Lyrics World (now defunct). What was unusual about
this site was that it contained the Top Forty popular songs for the last 70
years (1930-2000), over ten thousand lyrics. As I began to read lyrics of love
songs at random, it seemed to me that the majority of them fell into only three
patterns: infatuation, requited love, and heartbreak. There were also romance
lyrics which didn’t fit, but in any given year, they were never in the
majority.
The
study I later did (Chapter 5) confirmed: about a quarter of all pop songs in
the Top 40, year after year, are about heartbreak, about a tenth, about
infatuation, and about a tenth, about requited love. Another fourth involves
miscellaneous kinds of romance, and a little more than a fourth are not about
love or romance.
But
in reading these lyrics, a new question arose. It seemed to me that none of
these three forms, often not even requited love, suggested genuine love.
However, in order to state this idea with confidence, I would have to find out,
at least to my own satisfaction, what I mean by genuine love. At least in
English, the one word covers so many different things as to be almost
meaningless. Of all the emotion words, I think that love may be the broadest
and the most vague and pliable. The pliability of this word results in many
problems, both in scholarship and in real life.
For
this reason I propose a concept of love that is
bio-social-psychological: genuine love, in its non-erotic form, has a physical
basis in attachment, and a social psychological basis in attunement
(shared awareness and identity).
Romantic love involves a second physical basis: (sexual) attraction.
Each of these forms in itself can involve very intense feelings. Combinations
of two or three forms can lead to overwhelming feelings. Non-erotic love is
intense because it conjoins attachment emotions and genuine pride. The added
experience of sexual desire in erotic love means a powerful confluence of three
feelings, each intense alone.
These
three affects and their various combinations form different types of what is
called “love.” According to the new definition, only four of these are genuine
love; mutual and one-way non-erotic love, and mutual and one-way erotic love.
The other single affects and their combinations are look-alikes that would be
better understood as different kinds of psuedo-love. One of the central themes
of this book is the many kinds of psuedo-love may function to cover up the
intense pain of separation in modern societies. This seems to be a new idea; I
know of no earlier formulation of this proposal.
I
begin with vernacular meanings of love. If love is defined so broadly in modern
societies as to be virtually meaningless, how can we rescue its meaning? This
book seeks a conceptual definition, one that ultimately might be helpful not
only in scholarly research, but also in real life.
Investigating
the emotional/relational world is a deeply subversive activity. As the study
proceeds, it should be clear that it challenges many of the assumptions that
are taken for granted in everyday life. As we go about our daily activities, we
have neither the interest nor the resources to investigate the thousand of
assumptions that we make, and to a large extent, share with other members of
our society, about ourselves and the world. Just getting our activities
completed is usually quite enough of a challenge.
Only
eccentrics, artists or scientists have the time and inclination to challenge
everyday assumptions. Erving Goffman’s work seems to partake of all three of
these worlds: eccentricity, art and science. One of the most common criticisms
of his writing is that it is bitter, cynical, or sour. The charges, for the
most part, arise out of his challenge to our taken-for-granted assumptions. Any
objective investigation of the emotional/relational world is sure to challenge
major institutions; not only the political and economic ones, but also those
dealing with family, education, and religion.
This book may pose such a challenge.
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