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Since love has been the topic of countless articles, books, discussions, and sleepless nights, I might as well explain how I got interested. I have long been addicted to popular songs, especially love songs. They play in my head, usually uninvited, and often at odd hours. Some of them show up from out of a dim past, so I am frequently searching for lyrics to fill gaps in my memory.

Several years ago in the course of looking for a lyric, perhaps the one quoted above, I happened upon an extraordinary website called Lyrics World (now defunct). What was unusual about this site was that it contained the Top Forty popular songs for the last 70 years (1930-2000), over ten thousand lyrics. As I began to read lyrics of love songs at random, it seemed to me that the majority of them fell into only three patterns: infatuation, requited love, and heartbreak. There were also romance lyrics which didn’t fit, but in any given year, they were never in the majority.

The study I later did (Chapter 5) confirmed: about a quarter of all pop songs in the Top 40, year after year, are about heartbreak, about a tenth, about infatuation, and about a tenth, about requited love. Another fourth involves miscellaneous kinds of romance, and a little more than a fourth are not about love or romance.

But in reading these lyrics, a new question arose. It seemed to me that none of these three forms, often not even requited love, suggested genuine love. However, in order to state this idea with confidence, I would have to find out, at least to my own satisfaction, what I mean by genuine love. At least in English, the one word covers so many different things as to be almost meaningless. Of all the emotion words, I think that love may be the broadest and the most vague and pliable. The pliability of this word results in many problems, both in scholarship and in real life.

For this reason I propose a concept of love that is bio-social-psychological: genuine love, in its non-erotic form, has a physical basis in attachment, and a social psychological basis in attunement (shared awareness and identity).  Romantic love involves a second physical basis: (sexual) attraction. Each of these forms in itself can involve very intense feelings. Combinations of two or three forms can lead to overwhelming feelings. Non-erotic love is intense because it conjoins attachment emotions and genuine pride. The added experience of sexual desire in erotic love means a powerful confluence of three feelings, each intense alone.

These three affects and their various combinations form different types of what is called “love.” According to the new definition, only four of these are genuine love; mutual and one-way non-erotic love, and mutual and one-way erotic love. The other single affects and their combinations are look-alikes that would be better understood as different kinds of psuedo-love. One of the central themes of this book is the many kinds of psuedo-love may function to cover up the intense pain of separation in modern societies. This seems to be a new idea; I know of no earlier formulation of this proposal.

I begin with vernacular meanings of love. If love is defined so broadly in modern societies as to be virtually meaningless, how can we rescue its meaning? This book seeks a conceptual definition, one that ultimately might be helpful not only in scholarly research, but also in real life.

Investigating the emotional/relational world is a deeply subversive activity. As the study proceeds, it should be clear that it challenges many of the assumptions that are taken for granted in everyday life. As we go about our daily activities, we have neither the interest nor the resources to investigate the thousand of assumptions that we make, and to a large extent, share with other members of our society, about ourselves and the world. Just getting our activities completed is usually quite enough of a challenge.

Only eccentrics, artists or scientists have the time and inclination to challenge everyday assumptions. Erving Goffman’s work seems to partake of all three of these worlds: eccentricity, art and science. One of the most common criticisms of his writing is that it is bitter, cynical, or sour. The charges, for the most part, arise out of his challenge to our taken-for-granted assumptions. Any objective investigation of the emotional/relational world is sure to challenge major institutions; not only the political and economic ones, but also those dealing with family, education, and religion.  This book may pose such a challenge.

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download 

Best Love Pictures Animated For Myspace with quotes Tumblr For Her Him Facebook Download